Filing taxes together or separate?
Answers:
You are allowed to switch back and forth from joint returns to married filing separately, and it wouldn't raise any red flags.
If you file a joint return for any year, on that return you get an exemption for each of you, plus an exemption for each of the kids who are your dependents. A spouse is never a dependent, but you get an exemption on the return.
Unless you have a good reason for filing separately each year, check out joint filing - it almost always saves in total taxes. You're allowed to file separately if you want to, but it will almost always cost you money. Note that married filing separately is NOT the same as filling with a status of single - if you're doing that, you might show lower total taxes but would also be filing a fraudulent return and would have to pay back the extra, plus interest and penalties, when they catch you.
He cannot claim YOU as a dependent. Period. Married couples can either file a joint return with one exemption for each or file separate returns and claim thier own personal exemptions but they cannot claim each other as dependents. If you tried to list a spouse as a dependent, the IRS would either reject the return or just correct it and recalculate the tax liability without the exemption claim.
If you are not working and file a separate return and claim the kids, you would be losing a ton of money as the exemptions would be worthless to you. And if you are not working and file separate returns you will pay MUCH more tax than if you file a joint return regardless of who claims the kids.
In most cases you will pay the least tax by filing a joint return and if only one of you works you'll pay much less with a joint return. Also, when you file separate returns you lose some very valuable tax treatments such as the EITC, Child Tax Credit, some educational credits and deductions, etc.
There are very few cases when MFS is a good idea. You should really review your circumstances with a tax professional.
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