How do you tell the man you love he is ruining your credit?

I have been with my mate for 14 years and when we got together I had 30k in my bank account, my credit was excellent, I paid my bills on time and had money left over without touching my bank account. Shortly after I got pregnant and he told me that I did not have to work because of my pregnancy and he would handle eveything until I had the baby and went back to work. When my daughter was about 8 months old I ended up filing for bankruptcy because he could not handle everything . I got back on my feet and got things back in order and now before I knew it it's 14 years later and we are behind on everything and when we get paid we pay things but we are still so far behind that I don't know if we will even catch up. And it's not like he wastes his money he pays things but I just don't see where all our money goes. We live from paycheck to paycheck and I just don't see how we will get out of this crunch. We tried to refinance but it does not look like it is going to work in our favor.

Answers:
You have to be careful not to hurt his ego. But remember that you are responsible for you own financial well being. I am getting ready to file bandruptcy or chapt. 7 because I was blindsided by love. One thing that I have learned is if it doesn't make dollars, it doesn't make sense. If he has proven that he can't handle it by himself, step in or you will be going back through the same whole you just came out of.

Lots of luck
You know when you feel you have to ask the question
never feel shy, if he loves you he will understand
is it love or convience-for your man,who knows your a good person,put a stop and simply tell him,look get it together,or get lost-love is a ***-,but for yourself sit down with your bills,and make arrangements that you,yourself can afford,to pay,,without him,credit is important,as well as LOVE,tuff road to have to go down,,been there-still recovering-with the ecomomy today,living from pay-check to paycheck is a thing of the past,its tuff,,trust,with determination,and faith you can get yourself back on tack with or without him(SORRY)take time to search the web,lots of info on there for free,start with getting a copy of current CREDIT REPORT,
good luck and god is with you''''
You need to sit down with him when it's a quiet, convenient time and point out where you were financially 14 years ago, that you have filed bankruptcy and where you are now. Then tell him you want to discuss what you & he are going to do about it. You may need to make a budget that you both agree to and stick to it. Write down everything that you spend and see if you can cut spending. Can you take your lunches instead of buying them out? Turn the thermostat a few degrees so the heat and a/c don't run as much. Buy generic brands at the grocery store instead of name brands and/or use coupons when you do buy name brands. Run all of your errands at once so you aren't driving extra. Things like that. When you see where you can cut corners then concentrate on your bills. Pick the one that you owe the least on and add $5. or more a month and work on getting it paid off. When it's paid off then concentrate on the next one, etc. It will be hard but it can be done. You both need to agree to work together to do it though. Don't blame him, telling him it's all his fault, just point out where you are and what needs to be done.
From a distance
Chema, as I have learned over the years, and after reviewing thousands of credit bureaus, money matters are the hardest issues for couples to overcome, and talk about. The one thing people must remember, is that their credit, in the eyes of banks and lending institutions, is a reflection of only themselves, and not you and someone else. While your mate's actions are affecting your credit, "your" credit bureau is the one suffering. Tell him that you have worked hard over the years to save up money and build good credit, so you can offer your family a high quality of life and provide them with what each family needs. His inability to pay bills on time, while racking up debt, is hurting both your and your daughter's future. The best way is to be honest, but also educate him. There are many sources to learn about credit, www.equifax.com is my favorite. You can get a copy of your credit bureau, sign up for a monitoring service, learn how to correct or add comments to your credit bureau, and gather basic information for re-building your credit. Do it together, with your mate, and if he loves you like you love him, he will understand your concerns, and will work out a plan with you. Best of luck.
You have to talk to him, I had to do the same thing with my fiancee, he thought we should go on a money diet and cut back on stuff to get out of debt, after I thought about it I realized HE is the one in debt, I have debt and its under control, I pay my bills on time and my credit score is excellent while his is very poor. so I told him we will handle or debt separately for a while until I see he is making an effort to clean it up. it's not right for one person to fix anothers mess.
What it sounds like you are living above your means. First you should look at all your monthly expenses and determine what are luxury items (things you do not have to have, and if you remove from your life it will not cause hardships) and cancel these items. (Example reduce your telephone calling package, or just have basic cable) Take your lunch to work and do not buy expense coffees. Look at every area where you spend money and try to reduce your monthly expenses. I am sure now that you have a child you are incurring new expenses such as child care, diapers, formula, etc, however you are still trying to maintain the same life style you had before your child. Having children means making sacrifices.
Tell him, hey u are ruining my credit.. and he needs to help u pay for it...

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