MY brother and I work 10-11 hrs a day. His girlfriend is unemployed, Should she do all the house work?
Answers:
I would expect her to keep her own things tidy and perhaps your brother's stuff in order and clean.
Your brother and her should be cleaning up after themselves anyway and making sure they are not making unnecessary messes. Considering they live with you too. She could also vacuum and do dishes since she has the spare time.
But, you should also clean up after yourself. I wouldn't expect her to do you laundry and/or make your bed or anything of that description. You shouldn't leave unnecessary mess for her either just because you think she needs something to do.
She will be using this time before starting her Law degree to rest up and chill out a bit. Her degree will take alot out of her.
I don't get how this would be a problem?
Depends what you mean by 'doing the house work'. Everyone in a house should take responsibility for their own messes whether they work or not.
yes she should be cleaning and doing somthing if u guys pay all the bills and she isusing the internet then she needs to understand she cant be lazy and she needs to get up and be a good gf and make sure she has the house cleaned and stuff so when her bf gets home he isnt mad because she sat around all day
but she has no right to sit on her but because technicaly she is living for free
If she wont work in the house , show her the door
She should stay home & do the housework & the cooking & the shopping, I only work twice a week & my husband works full time 5days a week, & I do all the housework,gardening, shopping etc, it would be very mean of me to leave it all up to him!
politly ask your brother if his girlfriend could do a third of the housework as you and him work all day and feel she could help around the house a little bit make sure you dont say all of it because that will just annoy them at least if she does a little bit of housework its a bit less for you to do
yes she should be doing something more definitely. not necessarily three meals and she shouldnt have to wait on u hand and foot but yeah a good 2 hours or so of cleaning up while u 2 aint there y'know. its not fair that u have been in work all day n she just sits on her backside!
She should do the work but speak to her respectfully. Don't expect her to be your maid. Tell her that "we should split up the housework evenly."
While you are both out at work all day, she should be doing the housework, if she done it each day it would not take long to do.
As for the cooking she should be doing a nice hot meal for when you both come in from work.
I always do my housework before i go on the PC.
I would just have a word with your brother, you never know he might feel the same way you do.
if you and she are friends you can talk to her personally.
if you do not have good relationship, you can talk to your brother first instead
and remember that you are a family. so try not to hurt and not be hurt
Is that 10-11 hours each or between you?? Boo Hoo!! If you don't like it say something or move!!
at first i thought that this was a chauvinistic posting but realise how unfair it is
i suggest that all three of you sit down for a house meeting and draw up a list of chores that you all will be happy with after all no one wants to be a kept woman and she would want to contribute in some way if you talk instead of quietly seething this issue can be resolved
good luck
She has no kids to tend to? Definitely- she should do all the housework and cook, too- unless she doesn't know how to cook. After you confront her. maybe you should definitely cook for yourself... you never know. ( a spit into your bowl of soup would be an easy way to get back at you)
Tell the lazy *** to get her * in the kitchen or you'll throw her lazy backside out of the house.
yes i think she should be doing most of it 90% but i think when you have a day off then maybe you should do a little maybe 30-40%
What you want is a maid. So go out and hire one. What's wrong with sharing in the housework. She already does 50% of it, plus cooking the meals. The summer is around the corner and then she will be going to school to be a lawyer. She will then have even less time. So your just gaining experience in household chores. Thank her for that.
You can also thank her for letting you live with them. Where is your gratitude???
I believe in sharing equally and by the sound of it she is not doing her share. Have a 'house meeting' and bring this up in a calm way. Try to avoid confrontation as this will escalate and your brother may be forced to take sides which could ruin your relationships. Maybe she is just a selfish person who needs to be told things that she doesn't see herself. If she is just plain lazy then you should both tell her it's not acceptable while she is home all day and she needs to pull her weight. But be careful not to take her for granted if she does agree; don't leave your cups in the living room, socks on the floor etc.
I wish you all a harmonious future! :)
Been in this situation before. We decided that the daily house work (Cooking, daily cleaning, dishes, and general laundry) should be taken care of by the homemaker. Trash and yard should be done by one employed housemate. The remainder, weekly bathroom cleaning, garage/sidewalks or other general house areas be done by the other housemate. Shopping should alternate if possible. If the rest is picked up after each one's self, the house should be more tolerable. There's no perfect answer but I guess the idea is to collectively agree on some kind of delagated situation because the world is a totally different view through each person's eyes!
Did you know that the most dangerous call that a policeman goes on is a domestic dispute? The reason is, even if the couple is about to kill each other, they will protect each other from an outsider.
How does that apply to you? If you confront them on this issue, they will gang up on you. This WILL call for a lot of tact on your part. I suggest that you first start to think about the fact that this girl might be your future sister in-law. Do you really need this kind of possible rift between you and your brother?
What I'd do is stay in my part of the house and keep my room clean. I'd let the rest of the house go to hell in a hand basket. From your description, if you are doing 60% of the cleaning then neither your brother or his girlfriend are doing their part. Start just doing your stuff and then let the rest of the house fall apart around you. Your brother will get the hint and may even suggest to the girl that she needs to help out more with out you saying a word.
Tell her you should all be pulling together if it's going to work out living in the same house. You can't expect her to do everything though. If you brothers clean up after yourselves then she shouldn't have too much to do! Question: why are you living with your brother and girlfriend? Two's company...
She should if you pay her. I am not being sarcastic but if you want 3 meals a day, cleaning & all that's the only way. What she does at her own free time is her problem & if you feel bad about it (& a bit jealous) think who would cook you dinner if she was not there. Remember she is not your mother.
So, talk to both of them if you think you really need her (or someone else) to do more than she does and offer to pay her. I would not blame her not accepting though! Anyways, better think before you ask: do you really need someone to do sth around the house (like a maid) or your real problem is her staying with you?
Stop doing the 60% of work you are doing, let it be SEEN how much you are doing and how much she is NOT doing before you talk with your brother.
Secondly dont confront him, that will just lead to arguments.
Point out the build up of undone chores and suggest you all sit down and have a chat about redefining the jobs so there is a more equal/fairer distribution of work both out and in, paid and unpaid amongst the three of you.
if you have a go at your brothers girlfriend you are likely to upset the atmosphere in the house, while i do agree she should help more, i dont think that your brothers girlfriend should become your personal maid. instead you should sit her down calmly to discuss the issue,i think she should help more in the shared areas of the house, however you should do your own laundry etc. i think you are lucky that you come home to a cooked meal being put in front of you, how do you know she does nothing all day, while she is on the computer she may be looking for temporary work, have you asked her what she does all day? or are you just assuming? i would be very careful how you handle this one. the girl may take offence and feel that you resent her because she is not working and you may upset your brother,and end up falling out. which i think would be a disaster for you.
Oh buddy I can see your point but please believe me it is so much easier to get something done if you are a busy person, currently unemployed graduate. Cant even give my labour away for free - just to get that vital experience ... hurt my teeth even to say that word now. Encourage her to do more, show her your answers on this page that might help too
Maybe you should break down all of her living costs and ask her how she would pay them if your brother was not supporting her and that as he is supporting her she should be supporting him by cleaning up, i think she is taking a few libberty's sitting at home all day doing nothing much else. when it would only take a few hours in the morning to sort the house out. she could sit on the computer the rest of the day, then every one is happy.
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