Best Fake Employment History?

I haven't had a job in 20 years. I've been busy and no, it hasn't been criminal, but I haven't done anything I'd want to put on a resume. I don't really have any marketable skills, either. How should I lie on my job application? Even Burger King wants a coherent story.
Answer:    You were a stay at home mom or dad.or raising the children of a deceased relative (while living on their insurance payout) references to call and will get you the sympathy vote.
And get yourself SOME sort of marketable skills.Microsoft word, excel and outlook skills are necessary in any office--pick up a how to book or take a community college class to learn quickly.
You don't need to lie if it wasn't criminal, just explain what you were doing.
You have to have something that is searchable. Most if not all companies at least call the employer to see if you worked there at some point in time.

It is best not to lie on a job application anyway. If they find out you lied than they can terminate you...(it says it right on the application usually above your signature.)
Be honest about what you have been doing - at least in the simplest terms. They don't need deep details.

Lying on about your work history is just plain wrong.
If you were taking care of children, ill or old family members, running a household, paying the bills, cleaning, shopping, cooking, laundry...the list goes on and on. All these things require skills like organization, critical thinking,dispute resolution , loyalty , commitment , and more, that are very valuable to any employer so...don't sell yourself short. List these things (seriously) on your application.

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